Tuesday, August 18, 2009

A poem that makes you stop and think

Raymond Carver’s autobiographical poem, “What the Doctor Said.”

He said it doesn’t look good
he said it looks bad in fact real bad
he said I counted thirty-two of them on one lung before
I quit counting them
I said I’m glad I wouldn’t want to know
about any more being there than that
he said are you a religious man do you kneel down
in forest groves and let yourself ask for help
when you come to a waterfall
mist blowing against your face and arms
do you stop and ask for understanding at those moments
I said not yet but I intend to start today
he said I’m real sorry he said
I wish I had some other kind of news to give you
I said Amen and he said something else
I didn’t catch and not knowing what else to do
and not wanting him to have to repeat it
and me to have to fully digest it
I just looked at him
for a minute and he looked back it was then
I jumped up and shook hands with this man who’d just given me
something no one else on earth had ever given me
I may have even thanked him habit being so strong

Sunday, August 9, 2009

My son.

What is your most cherished possession?
Submitted by Hometown Girl.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Getting on with things

I admit it. I've been afraid. I am afraid - still. Afraid to try something. Afraid to start something. I didn't exactly have great examples of success in my short little life. But one thing about the Internet, there are a lot of other people who are afraid, who have been afraid, that are getting on with things. So, why not me? I deserve these small minutes of the day to write about whatever I want to. 

My world is not going to stop and crumble if I stop looking for a job for just a few minutes. I am frantic that not having a better paying (and challenging) job in the next month or so will just send my little world plunging off into nowhereland. This whole blog thing is kind of therapuetic. Perhaps getting on with my blog will get me somewhere.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Yearning to Dream

I've been divorced for nearly a year now. I keep getting asked when I will start dating. I have no desire whatsoever to date right now. Until last night.

I don't remember my dreams that often. However, last night I dreamt I found my soulmate. And I woke up yearning to be with him.

My soulmate was introduced to me by ex-husband, Hector, who could have been my soulmate had he made remarkable personality changes! In my dream, I met my soulmate in Spain, but it felt like present day (wartorn?) Europe. My son was with me. He liked and trusted this man as did Hector. I felt so much trust and connection with this person unlike anything I've ever imagined. The trust I felt with this man was so great that I allowed him to do things for me, which is a huge step for me. I miss this man and yearn to be with him. I yearn to dream.

What do you yearn for?